When I was 13, my best friend’s mom dubbed me “Little Lisa.” As I got older, the sentiment reminded the same – everyone from sorority sisters at my school to senior editors at my job felt compelled to comment on my petite frame.
Today, I stand tall at 5’2-ish” and weigh, well, let’s just say that I’m not able to give blood.
But here’s the thing: When I eat, I’m usually like a homeless dog at a dumpster licking a tin can. I don’t stop until every last drop is consumed … and then I move on to the plates of the people around me.
I have what is coveted as a fast metabolism, which means I can eat a whole chocolate cake without worrying it will go to my thighs. (Just for the record I’ve only done this twice.) But, I’m here to tell you that it’s not all a bag of chips when you’re thin. Here’s why:
- High cholesterol happens out of the blue. Yep, packing in the pasta, bread and cheese doesn’t do much for my waistline, but it sure has expanded my cholesterol levels. Yikes.
- Blouses don’t fit right. A small stature usually goes with a small bust line. Let’s just say some days I’m padded up like a wide receiver. Thin doesn’t equal a great body.
- I have to endure awkward commentary: “You pushed three kids out of that body?” leaves me spouting obnoxious responses like “Yes, my vagina stretches just like yours does.” Really, now, my body isn’t fair game for comments. Ever.
- …and yet even more commentary on the foods I eat: “How do you eat like that and stay so skinny?” is just as rude as “Why are you eating a hot dog when you’re clearly overweight?”
- I have cellulite. Just because I’m thin, doesn’t mean I’m toned. So stop staring at my thighs like it’s 1995 and the OJ verdict was just read.
- I have to work out just like you do if I want my mental health, bones and body staying healthy, but it’s hard to get motivated when I don’t need to lose weight.
- I can’t wear whatever I want. Unless it’s in a 00P or I feel inclined to pay $40 for alterations, I’m forced to shop in the highly sophisticated junior’s department where the shorts are, well, waaaay too short.